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Monday, July 29, 2013

How do single parents do it??

This weekend, I was on my own with the boy while the huz attended a bachelor party of sorts (sans bachelor, don't ask!) in Las Vegas. Being that I worked from home on Thursday and Friday, I was really in single parent mode for 4 full days, including Thursday evening, as a work dinner beckoned Grant to disperse his mobile expertise on an unassuming crowd.

I have to say, it was exhausting. Although Hayzey was pretty much his usual easy-going self for the majority of the weekend (with the exception of Sunday, when he had a full meltdown - more details later), and even though we escaped to Laguna on Saturday afternoon so I could get some relief from the 'ole grandparents, being one-on-one with him for that many consecutive days gave me a newfound respect for those who do it solo all the time.

Between the never-ending potty breaks (have you ever rushed to the bathroom at your local dry cleaners because your child was chanting, "Mama - poo! Mama - poo right now!", only to sit him on the toilet and have him decide he didn't have to go after all?), the going to bed game (note, this game is only fun for one person and it wasn't me) and Hayes' new ability to form structured sentences (make that demands, usually starting with "I want" or "I need" and ending with "right now!"), the little dictator had me at his beck and call for the whole weekend. Throw in a 2 1/2 hour drive to Laguna on Saturday (it normally takes an hour, traffic was TERRIBLE) and a total tantrum over not being able to go inside to play the piano at a friend's house while we tried to enjoy lunch overlooking the Pacific and this mama was welcoming home Daddy with open arms last night!

Don't get me wrong, there were some great moments during the weekend and I really did enjoy the bonding time with Hayzey. He was my date to the food truck block party on Friday night and we enjoyed many meals al fresco, just the two of us. He gave me two hours of snuggle time on Saturday morning in my bed and we had a fun sleepover at Nini and Pa's on Saturday night. 

And he was an absolute dream in the car going to and from Laguna, never once asking to go to the potty and sitting there quietly, even through the gridlock. And honestly, who could stay annoyed at this face?

Ever since finding out that Peanut is a boy, I've been thinking about the possibility of having a family of five vs. a family of four, in order to try for a girl. We are definitely leaving the door open to a third baby, but the thought of it is sometimes really overwhelming, especially after weekends like the one I just had. From a selfish perspective, stopping at two would definitely be easier and more economic. I can handle the newborn and toddler phase one more time and although the next couple of years won't be easy by any means, the boys will be close in age and before we know it, they'll be grown up.

It's that last part that makes me long for a third (even as I'm still working on baking the second!). Coming from a family of five, I've always imagined having a bigger family myself - whether the third is a girl or a boy, I keep reminding myself that The Blur only lasts for a little while and then you're in The Sweet Spot indefinitely.  That one day, sooner than you think, you'll be through the 24/7 overseeing every single movement your kid makes, your brain will solidify from it's state of mush and what you'll be left with are the  (hopefully) healthy relationships you've established with your growing kids and a strong bond with your sig o, armed with the parenting stripes you both earned together.

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