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Wednesday, July 27, 2016


...he is obsessed with all of the silly little things that make five year old boys laugh - farting, penises, poop. He calls a vagina a 'pagina'.
...he's started this new, strange form of dancing in which he moves his arms slowly around and gets this zen, calm look on his face. We call it his tai chi.
...he is a legitimate hoarder. The other day, we had thrown away a broken helicopter toy, an unopened package of gumballs and a strange plastic pillbox thing one of those free toys from a machine come in and guess where I found them all? Behind a cushion on the leather club chair. Buddy, if you're going to take stuff out of the trash, at least hide it somewhere we can't find it!
..he is his little sister's favorite person and can make her laugh every time. And he loves it.
...last week, after soccer, we were heading down to the playground to play for a bit and Greyson was whining about needing to be carried. Our hands were full; Grant had Henley and a football in his, I had the giant diaper bag and our picnic blanket in mine. Not to mention it was 95 degrees. So Hayes stepped up and carried his brother the entire way there. My heart melted.
...he asks to stay up late every single night. 
...his favorite singer is Israel Kamakawiwo╩╗ole, the big Hawaiian gentleman who sings "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and he often requests we play "the man swimming" (the album cover) on Pandora. The Cohen Cabana is frequently tuned into the Hawaiian station; all that's missing are the hula dancers and roast pig.
...he's learned how to pour himself his own milk in the morning, which is quite impressive since even I have a hard time wrangling a full gallon. He loves to do it all himself, pulling the stool over to the cupboard to get his cup, pouring the drinks for him and Greyson. He also knows how to navigate the apple TV and my iphone better than I do. I'm already feeling like a tech dinosaur!
...the countdown is on to kindergarten and he's super excited that there are only 2 weeks and 6 days left of summer. Let's hope it stays that way!

...since Hayes has his hands down his pants 24/7, I frequently ask him, "Is your penis still there?", hoping to make him realize how ridiculous of a question that is and encourage him to get his hands OFF OF HIS DAMN PENIS! Well, turns out Greyson has picked up on this and now, when he goes to put his hands down his pants, he'll frequently say to me, "I'm just making sure my penis is still there." 1 for the boys, 0 for Mama.
...while he mostly wants to be a big boy, I can tell he sometimes struggles with the fact that he's no longer a baby and is kind of caught in this weird in-between (is that part of middle child syndrome?). The other day, he sighed heavily from the backseat of the car and said, "I wish I was still a baby."
...on the opposite side of the baby spectrum, he is the most fiercely independent toddler I know and makes a big deal of doing absolutely everything himself. I've had to teach him that it's okay to ask for help if he can't figure out how to do something, but he still finds a way to own the task. For instance, if he can't get his legs into a pair of pants, he'll ask me to help him, then as soon as his feet are through the hole, yell that he can do it himself. If I pull his pants up for him by habit, he'll sometimes pull them back down and then up again, just so he knows he's done it.
...when we were at the rental car place in Boston a few weeks ago, some older kids called him a baby. He was pissed. I could see the wheels turning in his head as he stewed over the insult, not exactly sure how to handle it, but angry as hell that these kids couldn't see that he was a big boy. Suddenly, he ran back over to them, pulling at his pants as his legs moved, determined to show them his underwear, because of course, babies don't wear underwear so this meant he had to be a big boy. Grant had to literally tear him away. I was dying.
...he calls McDonalds "Old McDonald".
...he frequently refers to Hayes as his "little brother".
...he'll only wear Hayes' clothes. He goes to bed every night swimming in his older brothers' pajamas.
...him and Hayes have races to see who can get into their car seats first. Greyson doesn't know how to buckle his up yet (but he sure as hell tries!) but in order to slow Hayes down, he'll sneakily buckle the seat belt in Hayes' seat when he isn't looking so Hayes has to waste time unbuckling it before he gets in. This infuriates Hayes to no other. I often see Henley's harness buckled as well before I go to put her in her seat.
...he is super generous with the kisses and hugs, but usually only when he wants something from you. Every night, he comes into Henley's room when I'm nursing her before bed and whispers, "Kiss her feet? Now a BIG hug!". Usually it's right when she's fallen asleep so I'm a little annoyed he's in there waking her up. He must sense this, because after kissing his little sister, he'll come around the side of the chair, lips puckered and say, "Now it's your turn, Mommy." I.die.

...she loves her brothers. Like, can't take her eyes off of them when they're in the room love. When I try to nurse her when they're hanging around, it takes twice as long, she's so distracted.
...she likes to kick her leg while she's nursing, over and over again.
...she's getting the hang of rolling over from back to front and is so damn proud of herself when she does it.
...she's clinging onto what's left of her baby hair and has this little strange rooster tuft that runs down the middle of her head like a mohawk. 
...she's much more interested in toys these days and will lie on her jungle mat for up to twenty minutes (forever in baby) and study the toys hanging from above. 
...when she gets angry or excited about something, she becomes very vocal in quite an aggressive manner. Girlfriend wants her voice to be heard!

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